Four weeks ago, Scott and I became foster parents, for the very first time, to a 5-week old baby girl. Since we are not sharing specific nor personal information on social media, I’ve been referring to her as Baby Banana.
I have so much I want to share about this lovely angel. I want to share about this extraordinary experience. And, how I am choosing to pray, for something I would give an arm for, while being completely submissive to God’s plan.
(Deep breath.) Where to begin?
When I got the call regarding Baby B, I was given some basic information on her and her situation. Scott and I were ready to do this. We were happy and on board. : )
A few days later…
When I first saw Baby Banana being removed from the car, I asked one of the two workers if I could carry her in the house. It’s as if I wanted to get a head start. I remember making a B-line to our backdoor, as Scott chatted with both workers, several steps behind.
I placed the infant seat on my counter, so I could just marvel at her. That’s when my jaw dropped.
Dear God. She is so beautiful.
HUGE brown eyes. And, brown hair. Just enough to crown her perfect little grapefruit-sized head. Her features so delicate and perfect. Like a porcelain doll.
She was calm. Eyes fixed on me. And I was beaming. Immediately captured in the most vulnerable way I’ve ever known. At that very moment, I was 100% Mommy. Under no circumstance would I refrain from loving this helpless, tiny angel.
I thought to myself, right then and there. .. I am going to love her fearlessly.
Meanwhile, Baby B was just taking it all in, with wide eyes. Even smiling at me. I asked one of the workers if I could hold her. She was like,“Of course!”
At that point, Scott was able to see her, for the first time. He nodded his head in agreement. Yup. Baby B had Scott at Hello, just like me.
Once we were alone, Scott and I introduced Baby B to Cooper. He was anxious and excited and curious. We had to get him to settle down before allowing him to see what mommy was holding. As anticipated, Cooper had to learn how to handle his new baby sister. Scott and I made a plan, a few days prior to her arrival, on how to help Coops with the transition.
Overall, it’s been a good transition. : )
My favorite thing about Baby B is the way she coos and smiles. She is a good eater. (Heaven help if one of us is not getting her bottle fast enough!) A fairly good sleeper. (Much better at night, than taking naps during the day.) Like most infants, she fusses. On some days a lot! But, I’d say that Baby Banana is doing very well.
When I received the initial call, the intake worker stated that there was a 90% chance that this baby would be up for adoption, eventually. This was good news for us, because Scott and I are hoping to adopt. Whether or not that 90% was accurate at that time, or not, is unknown.
As of today, the current circumstances seem more like 50/50. It’s possible that Baby Banana can go back with her biological mom and/or biological dad. And, there’s always a possibility that she won’t.
I’m not going to deny the flood of mixed emotions this brings to a Foster Parent. I network with many foster parents, today, and I hear scenarios that go in both directions. To nurture a baby from the day she leaves the hospital, for sometimes up to two years, and then one day learn that she’s going back to Bio-Mom and/or Bio Dad is something I have not experienced. And, hope not to.
If it weren’t for my faith in God’s grace, I’d never be doing this.
I am loving her, fearlessly.
Baby B has been through quite a bit the first few weeks of her life. She requires extra care and attention. More than the average baby. Certain simplistic therapies. And, a lot of love and patience.
Nevertheless, I wouldn’t change anything about this mothering experience. It’s not what I anticipated, when I first prayed to be a mom. But, I know that I was chosen for this. Scott was, too. And, so were our families! Because they, too, are loving Baby B fearlessly.
God is revealing His grace to us all, by enabling us to love Baby B in this way.
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10: …“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
So, then. How do we Pray?
I’ve been asked this question by a few loved ones and after much thought and prayer, I came up with 3 prayer requests.
1.) Let us pray for Baby Banana. That God will commission His angels to keep watch over her, at all times. And pave a future for her that will include the love of Christ within her. Let’s pray that she will live a good life, with parents who will always love her. Fearlessly.
2.) Let’s pray for Baby B’s Bio-parents.
3.) And, please let’s pray that God will have mercy on my heart. And those who are invested here. I’m not alone in this journey.
Well, I hope to keep you posted with ongoing posts about this journey. I can’t promise that it’ll be peaches and cream.
**Photography by Rosemary Greco (856) 264-9662