I want to start my own business. I want to join the gym. I want to spend more time with my friends. I want to write a book. I want to adopt. I want to join a church. I want to get my family together, on Sundays. I want to learn how to play the piano. I want to be a life coach. I want to be a public speaker. I want to go on a mission’s trip. (Fill in the blank: ________)
Ok, so we have all seen the movie, “The Notebook”, right? Probably more than once. One of my favorite parts is after Allie returns to Noah, and before running off, he asks her, “What do you want?”
Oh, this entire movie tugs on my heart strings. I feel like I can relate to Allie in so many ways. I believe this scene resonates with all women, because it’s so true. Sometimes, we don’t know or we just forget what we want. WHY?
What Do You Want? 5 Reasons WHY We Can’t Answer this Question.
1.) We think about everyone else first. This is especially true if we are raised by parents who over-influence us. We are taught to think about pleasing others before being true to ourselves.
I initially married the wrong person. It was a devastating experience. Even in my mid twenties, I just wasn’t ready. I had no idea what I wanted or needed. In the beginning of that marriage, I tried to please my spouse but I was very unhappy and became somewhat resentful. Not even taking care of myself, properly. I ended up becoming my worst version of myself. And, let’s just say, the rest is history. (The good news is that I learned so much from it, and made peace with my ex-husband, years later.)
It may not be your spouse, it may be your parents, your children, your boss or coworkers, friends, etc. We may not even realize that we are overlooking our best interest or needs. I can speak from experience, here. It’s a dangerous distraction that feels like bondage. And, that’s not even what God wants for our lives!
2.) We are too busy comparing ourselves with others.
Every once in a while, I start comparing myself to other wives, moms, bloggers, Instagrammers! I think we can all relate. Social media has a vicious way of making us feel inferior. Even though, deep down inside, we know those picture perfect influencers with the perfect photos, bodies, marriages, and children are far from perfect!
The bigger problem in this is that we overlook ourselves! Next thing you know, we have a distorted perspective of our priorities. (I want my body to look like that. I want my house to look like that. I want my business to look like that.) Really?
Maybe in the superficial realm, but that’s probably not what your heart truly desires. If you find yourself doing this, I’d recommend taking some time away from social media or altering your feed so that you’re encouraged to focus on yourself.
3.) We are so easily sidetracked.
So help me, every time I start something that I want to do, I am overwhelmed with distractions. Take my blogging efforts. At the end of the day, all I want is to share my heart, my experiences, a few things I’m good at, and hopefully encourage someone to appreciate the “extraordinary” aspects of their circumstances.
But, there are so many aspects of “blogging” that unless and until you’re actually doing it, you can’t imagine. It can be overwhelming and distracting. There’s the imagery factor. (This may be hard to believe, but the entire photography piece is currently a thorn in my side!) But, photos are pretty important in blogs. A lot of work needs to go into photos, otherwise a blog will go unnoticed. There’s also website management getting your message out there, and getting some financial return for all the time and effort spent. Some of these aspects can become larger giants than they need to be.
I think a lot of bloggers/influencers are getting super sidetracked with Instagram. (I know because I am constantly reminding myself to keep it in check.) It’s tempting to get so caught up in the number of followers we have, that we forget what we are really trying to do.
4.) We take on too much.
This kind of goes hand-in-hand with #3. Sometimes, we don’t know how to say “NO”. Here is an example…
Perhaps you want to be involved in your child’s education. So, at a PTO meeting you volunteer to lead a fundraiser. Instead of doing just enough to make it effective, (making money for the school), you end up making it so much more than it needs to be! Next thing you know, you are helping with a bunch of other fundraisers throughout the school year, and you’re too burnt out to attend your child’s school play. What just happened!?
What you originally wanted turned into something that sabotaged your initial intention! Oh, it’s so easy for this to happen. In every realm of our lives. But, at the end of the day, we need to stop, reflect, and recall what it is that we wanted to do in the first place.
5.) We are afraid to fail.
I struggle with this. My husband really struggles with this. I’m presuming everyone, in some way, can relate to this.
- We want to write a book. But, we’re afraid nobody will want to publish it.
- We want to start a new way of eating, but we are afraid that eventually we’ll give up.
- We want to start our own business, but we are afraid we’ll end up losing money.
The list goes on and on. I get it. It’s scary!
Sometimes, we need to think of ourselves in ten, twenty, thirty years from now. Are we going to regret not trying?
If it’s something that is not escaping your heart and your mind, chances are it’s something that you’re meant to do. Try to look past the possibility of failure. (Most success stories have failure included!) If it’s something you really want, just go for it! Can you imagine what our world would be like if everyone gave in to the fear of failure?
I’d rather be remembered as one who tried and failed over someone who was too afraid to try.
Well, if you can relate to any of these reasons, I’d love to hear from you in the comment section of this post. More importantly, please think about what it is that you want. What is the desire of your heart? What keeps coming back, that you’re putting off, for whatever reason? I’d like to encourage you today, to stop what you’re doing, reflect on where you’re at, and recall what it is that you want. I believe in you!