Oh my goodness. I can’t even believe I just wrote the title of this blog post. I am flooded with emotions, as Scott and I are preparing to adopt our first child. A one and a half year old BEAUTIFUL boy that I’ve nicknamed Baby Blue. We have had the privilege of nurturing him since he was five days old! Barely five pounds. Loving on him as if we were the mom and dad every child deserves to have. Unsure if we would lose him, and never even see him again.
We’ve been there. Done that.
BUT, after years of waiting…Years of trials and a massive heartbreak, it’s finally happening. In just a few days, Baby Blue will have a forever mom and a forever dad. Scott and I will be forever parents.
I’m going to do my best to share how it feels to finally be adopting a foster baby. For anyone that is waiting for their heart’s desire, my prayer is that this blog post will bless you, in an extraordinary way!
How It Feels to be Adopting a Foster Baby
It’s not easy to put this in writing. It’s not even easy to interpret what is going on in my mind and in my heart. There’s certainly no single word to describe how I feel, right now. But, I’m going to give it a shot…
I am so nervous. It’s more of a physiological feeling that I can’t control. Like something huge is happening, and my life will never be the same. I’m nervous that something will go wrong before adoption day. (Yes, I have already had a dream that we were late and missed the hearing!) I’m ten times more nervous that I was the day that Scott and I eloped. I think this is normal, especially because it’s a huge change in our life that will take time to adjust.
I’m nervous about being the best parent I can possibly be. (I suppose this is the same feeling any new parent feels. Not just adoptive parents.) But, the difference is that there will be a day when Baby Blue will know about his Biological family. Scott and I hope that his story will shape him in an extraordinary way. Every child deserves to know the truth about their first few years of life. I’m nervous about how Blue will respond. How will he feel knowing about being adopted? Of course, people say, “Adopted children are chosen. There’s no greater love for them to feel!”
We can only hope and pray that Blue genuinely feels this way.
I cried all day when I found out our adoption hearing was scheduled. It’s the first time I really felt confident that this was REALLY happening! I am actually beyond overjoyed. God has given me a beautiful baby boy to raise for the rest of my life! I am overjoyed to be a part of his every day. His future. I am overjoyed that I get to love him and watch him grow. I’m so overjoyed to experience God’s awesome faithfulness!
Baby Blue was a foster baby. His biological family situation is a sensitive topic and one I cannot share. Scott and I met Baby Blue’s biological mom, a few times. I’m beyond grateful that she cared so much for him. She wanted him to be happy, and she knew he was in good hands. She was so kind to Scott and me. I will forever keep her in my heart and my prayers. Baby Blue will always be her biological son. So, I am so sad for obvious reasons.
Most women start thinking about their futures at a young age. When I think about the naive, young adult, I once was… I definitely feel humbled. Finding a soul mate did not come easily for me. None of the blessings (in my adult life) home come without a price. Without heartache, first.
I experienced more than I write about. Someday, I may share more on some of the struggles I’ve had. I believe God allows us to suffer, so that we can be humbled. And, so that we can recognize HIS BLESSINGS. Everything good in my life is because of him. So, yes. I feel incredibly HUMBLED!
I always thought that I’d have a bigger family. Three kids. Minimum. But, little did I know that ONE CHILD could fill my heart as much as ten kids could. I love Baby Blue so much. I have the same love for foster children that I don’t have anymore. God has chosen Scott and me for this special and extraordinary journey. It’s been so extraordinary. We still have a few empty rooms in our house. But, I don’t feel like I’m yearning anymore. If our family is complete with Baby Blue, I am so blessed. There will never be a day that I don’t thank the good Lord for this blessing in our lives.
There’s probably a zillion other emotions that go along with the few I just described. For those of you who have been on this foster journey with Scott and me, from the beginning, you have an idea of all that we’ve been through. My prayer is that our story can encourage anyone who is suffering loss or longing for an answer to prayer. No matter how you “feel” today, God is working in some way that is for your good. I leave you with one of my favorite bible verses.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
God bless you! Thank you for reading. xo